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About Medan

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting for cover, but I slip on the wet pavement. Classic me, right? I land right in front of this old lady selling umbrellas. She just looks at me and says, “You need one, young man?” I can’t help but laugh. I buy one, obviously.

Shallow M6.1 earthquake hits Banda Sea, Indonesia